Don't Spit in the Peanut Butter

I'm starting something new this week. 10 Things Tuesdays. I really like making lists, so I'm gonna share them with you, 10 items at a time.
First up, 10 things I never thought I would ever say to my kids.

"Don't spit in the peanut butter jar."

"Don't drink the mustard."
"Yes, you have to. Everyone must wear pants at the dinner table."
"Don't bite the cat."
"You cannot have a peanut butter and syrup sandwich for breakfast. Or lunch. Or ever."
"I can't pull over right now. Your choices are to pee in a cup or pee in your pants" (for the record, he peed in the cup).
"No you can't help me shave my legs"
"That's not candy, it's toilet cleaner. Don't eat things from the bathroom." (Poison control says in small amounts Scrubbing Bubbles toilet bowl stamps are not harmful in small quantities, but don't let Lily eat anymore).
" Ohh my god, the cat peed on Lily's head" (said cat is no longer allowed inside over night).
"No you can't play x box, mommy's watching sesame street."
And a bonus for week one.
" I promise the bird poop missed your head."
What about you? What has come forth from your mouth that you never would have ever pictured yourself saying.