Saturday in Redneckville

So I've done a couple of Saturday in Redneckville labeled posts in the past but I have decided to make it a weekly feature. At least for the duration of the summer. The idea being that I will write about an interesting, redneck event experienced or perpetrated by my family and/or close friends. I think this will be infinitely easier than trying to continue Ten Things Tuesday, which I now realize was forced and not as funny and clever as I liked. Also, as I recover from BPD, I am losing my need to constantly make lists for and about everything.

So, here's how I envision this working. Every Sunday or Monday (smart money says Monday) I will post a Saturday in Redneckville post. I like the sound of that title. I have a feeling most things I write about will occur on a Saturday, but I can't guarantee it.

DISCLAIMER: Larch has informed me that he and his brothers are roughnecks not rednecks and that I barely qualify as a country girl and therefore I am definitely not a redneck woman. I will concede the point about roughneck verses redneck, but by and large the majority of the American population doesn't not understand the difference. I believe his lack of confidence in my country girl status is more his nice way of saying I am a wuss. He may be right, but I put my clothes on a line to dry, I make bread from scratch, I like to fish, and I know how to make a deer roast palatable, I think I am country enough. If you add in that I like to "stand barefooted in my own from yard with a baby on my hip" and my undying love of country music (and possibly my tendency to giggle uncontrollably while riding on the back of a 4-wheeler while slightly intoxicated) I think I may also qualify as a mildly redneck woman.

So for this week....I had a hard time deciding between a story involving a bar, lost kids, some cops and a pregnant woman, or to share pictures from Johnny's Birthday BBQ.  I chose the BBQ because Larch built the most awesome fort out of cardboard boxes and my 4 year old took a nap in a playpen. However, I promise to write about the other thing soon.  I've already told the pregnant woman that she has no say, I am writing it, but I will change her name.

Johnny's Birthday BBQ

The first thing you need to know about my family is that it's big. Larch is the oldest of four. All four Thornton kids has spouses (or in one case a long term girlfriend) Larch and I have Johnny and Lily. There is a 15 year old and two toddlers. That's 13 people so far. Larch's parents are divorced so there are three grandparents on that side of the family plus on really close friend who is not technically my mother in law's boyfriend. Now we are at 17. My side of the family has my mom, my dad, my sister, and one set of my grandparents (the other set live in New Mexico so they never come to family events). 22. Family events generally include one of our sets of friends who have a little girl Johnny's age and a new baby. That's 25 + a baby. Then you add in my bestie, her husband and their three kids, there is the distinct possibility of 30+ people being in my backyard for a family event like a birthday. Since we all have dogs, you could also add in up to 7 dogs. This weekend we only had 23, sixteen adults and 7 kids, and 2 dogs. That's a lot of hamburgers y'all.

As I said above, Larch built the most awesome cardboard box castle for the kids to hide out in.

Other redneck-ish occurrences included Johnny's receiving new arrows for his bow, a hunting backpack, and fishing gear among his presents. (He also received normal 7 year old presents like Legos, books, a movie, and a ladder ball set, which now that I think about it is more of an adult game, but still less redneck than a hunting backpack).

Also. Bonfire.

Johnny Turns 7

My first baby turned 7 at 6:42 this morning. I wasn't as upset as I thought I'd be.  Although I did tell my mom, or maybe it was my bestie to shut up when they pointed it out as I lit candles on his cake this afternoon. Today was also his last day of 1st grade. They grow up so darn fast.

Johnny wanted a Seattle Seahawks birthday party this year. Seeing as how they are the Superbowl Champions and I grew up in Seattle and they are the closest NFL team to our location and that we are just huge Seahawks fans anyways (even when they sucked), I said ok. The theme went as far as his invitations and the shirt he chose to wear today. Although I did make a football field cake.

Johnnhy talked me into inviting all the boys in his class over after school. Thank goodness only 5 of them were able to come. But I learned something. Seven year old boys in a group will entertain themselves. Also, if you ask if they are hungry, they will say no, but if you tell them you have pizza, they will run you over. And 6 first and second graders can drink a gallon and a half of Kool Aid in less than an hour.

Tomorrow we will have a family BBQ for the aunts and uncles and close family friends (read my bestie and her three kids who weren't invited to all boys party). Since it will be a Saturday, I will be writing another installment of "Saturdays in Redneckville" Sunday afternoon or Monday Monring (smart money is on Monday after the company and the hangovers are gone).

If you don't want to see a bunch of pictures of my son's party, stop here and come back later, otherwise, here are a bunch of pictures of my son and 5 little boys whose faces you can't see. Oh, and a close up of the letter T on Johnny's birthday cake for the Motherhood{honestly} June Photo Challange.

Lily doesn't know it's already busted and completely empty.

A History of Cake

Today I will be discussing the history of cake. Sort of. I will be sharing pictures of the cakes I have made over the last 6 years. 

The first awesome cake I made was a frog. I threw a 6 month birthday party for Johnny. It was an amazing first shaped cake. Regrettably, I cannot find any pictures. I'm sure they are around, I have just misplaced the disk.

The second cake was for Johnny's first birthday. It was a Noah's Ark. I am also missing pictures of this cake, but that's alright. I had the cake all made, complete with a bowl of blue jello under the cake stand, when it started to fall apart. It was a 3D cake and I did not glue the layers together well en

In January of 2009, Larch turned 30. I cranked out these two awesome cakes:

Two thousand nine was the year I discovered Bunco and so threw myself a Bunco Birthday Party. We ate ice cream cake for months. But, if Johnny every wants a Transformers birthday party, I can always make an Allspark cake.

After the Noah's Ark catastrophe, I was a little wary on Johnny's second birthday. I was just not up to creating a cake that looked like Elmo. So, I put Sesame Street cut outs on a sheet cake.

In 2010, for Johnny's 3rd birthday I had my confidence back, and created a 3D racecar.

January 2011 I got to create my first girl cake. I constructed an amazing pink and purple castle. Unfortunatly, I am unable to locate any digital pictures of this cake.

Johnny decided his fourth birthday would be a dinosaur party and that he wanted a cake from the store. His loss.

Last year, for Lily's 2nd birthday I formed this adorable monkey.

Johnny's 5th birthday was all about camo, he got cupcakes with little green army men on top.

This year, after only 24 days, I have built my two best looking cakes yet. For all thier simplicity, you can tell my skill is increasing.

Lily requested a Frosty the Snowman party. With Christmas decor on clearance, this party was really inexpensive to put together. And the cake looked amazing, if I do say so myself.

Here's my January run down: My nephew Emmett was born Jan 8, Lily is the 16th, Larch, my mom, and my dad celebrate their birth on the 18th, my Nana was born on the 19th, and Joe was born on the 22nd. AND Casey Joe joined us this year at 1:22pm on 1/22. Yep, Joe got a baby for his birthday and I now have 8 birthdays to celebrate in two week time span.

With Larch and Joe's birthday's being so close together, and not as big a deal as the kids, we generally throw one event for the two of them. This year we went bowling followed by tacos and cake at my house. Since Larch and Joe are both into military aircraft, I spent three hours planning, cutting, and frosting this masterpiece:

I can't wait to hear what Johnny plans for his 6th Birthday. I am up for almost any challenge he can throw at me.

+

W is for Weekend in the Country.

Last weekend, we spent the weekend at my sister-in -laws, in the country. We were celebrating her husband's 27th birthday. ( I am exactly 13 days older than he is.)
The boys, there were about 12 of them, spent all day Saturday in a paintball war. L and I stayed in the shade playing Scattergories. After dark, we all met out front for a large bonfire.
JZ decided he wanted a keg for his birthday this year. The keg was kept cool in a steel drum that was originally purposed for lemon juice from concentrate.
Around 10 o'clock at night, after L had gone to bed, the boys decided to have a paintball hunt in the dark. I wanted to participate but Larch talked me out of it. Instead, I was the paintball equivalent of WACs. Okay not really. It was my job to refill ammo and air cans when the guys ran out. It was actually quite exciting.
The next morning, most everyone had gone home. Only family was left. Larch, B and JZ decided they were too tired to havens another war. They declared war on the mud swallows instead. While these birds can be pretty, they really are just pests. They build their nests in your eaves, leaving their crap all over your porch. It is not so easy to hit a mud swallow with a paintball. However, it is not impossible. In the course of 6 hours,the boys took out 2. I think they feel they have invented a new sport.

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K is for Kindle

I am finally the proud owner of an e-reader. I off buying one because I really enjoy the smell and feel of books. I don't, however, enjoy the bulk and the weight of carrying them around. And when you're reading in the bath, it's hard to keep your fingers dry enough to turn the pages without leaving little watermarks.

I didn't actually buy myself an e-reader; I received my Kindle from my sister, A, for my birthday. I knew it was coming, but not because I am a sneaky present peeker. I was planning to buy myself a Kindle with our tax return, and when I called to ask for my sister's advice (she has had a kindle for a little over a year now) she told me not to buy one. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together; it was only 3 weeks before my birthday. Also, a week before my birthday, she emailed me to ask how important it was that my Kindle could read out loud to me. I didn't even know that was possible.

My Kindle skin. source.

My brother in law, J, and his wife, B, presented me with a $25 gift card for Amazon.com. I was so excited I logged on right then to buy a book (Mercy Blade by Faith Hunter) and a skin for my kindle. (I like to personalize my things.) I also signed up for a free trial of amazon Prime. Prime offers free two-day shipping and access to one book a month from the Amazon readers library.Eighty dollars a year is a great price, it's just not in our budget right now, so I will be cancelling my Prime account after my 30-day free trial is over.

I love my kindle. I can borrow books from my local library and I can borrow from and lend books to other kindle owners. (This is possibly why my sister gave me a Kindle; we read a lot of similar books.) I can also subscribe to a feed from my favorite blogs, but I haven't gotten that part figured out yet. Also, I have very iffy wireless access.

I really love that with the kindle app on my droid smartphone I can sync my devices and read my books even when I leave the kindle at home.My bookmark is in the same spot on my phone and my Kindle. It's great for those moments when you don't plan on being anywhere you have to wait, but lo and behold your child needs stitches and you rush out of the house to the doctor with only your child, your phone and hopefully your ID. Or maybe you just spontaneously decide to take the little ones to the park in the middle of running errands. With the kids, a purse, a diaper bag, a phone and myself to get out the door, my Kindle is not on my list of things I can't leave the house without.

I would totally recommend getting an e-reader. I'm not being paid to say this, I just think they are very cool. I feel very Star Trek reading from an electronic device rather than a paper and ink book. I am 57% through my current book, so if you don't mind, I'm going to go read now.

Eager for the Easter Bunny

Today, I turn 27. My son cares that it is my birthday for 3 reasons. One: I'm fairly certain he loves me. Two: there will be cake. And three: we are only a few days from Easter and the inevitable visit from the Easter Bunny.

Johnny has been telling me for two weeks everything he wants the Easter Bunny to bring him. He is certain that if I email his list to Mr. Bunny, he will have the best Easter basket ever. He also wants me to ask how he gets into our house. Does he come down the chimney like Santa Clause? And he tells me to ask if Mr. Bunny can hide the eggs outside this year.

I remember when I was still young enough to believe in a giant bunny who hid eggs all over our house. Every year we could count on a number of things in our Easter basket. My sister and I always received a movie (usually with a religious theme, like the TNT movies Jacob and Joseph), a book (also with a Christian bent), a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg, some sort of chap stick or lotion, and of course, jelly beans.  When I was 16, just after I obtained my drivers license, I received my favorite Easter Basket: candy, movie, book, and a set of my own keys to my parents Blazer.

The Easter Bunny will indeed arrive to our house in a few days. I can't wait. My kids will eat chocolate eggs and jelly beans for breakfast (saving the black ones for Grandmama). I will wrestle them into fancy clothes for church, where they will play off their sugar high in the nursery and 4-year-old class. I will try to instill in them the idea that Easter is not about eggs and a bunny, but about a savior who died, and an empty tomb. I will try to tie the Easter Bunny to this truth  the way we tie Santa to Jesus' birth. The Easter bunny leaves gifts to celebrate the gift of God's love. Maybe I will tell them that he hides eggs the way the Romans tried to hide Jesus's body behind a stone. Maybe I will tell them that when Mr. Bunny leaves, instead of "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night," he shouts "He is not here, He is risen!"

6 Birthdays, 7 days

When people say "I'm glad Christmas is here, the stress is ending," I smile.  The 30 days after Christmas are generally as busy as the 30 days leading up to it, if not more so.  The 26th of December is my mother-in-law's birthday. Then we have New Years Eve. This could be skipped, but I married into a partying, drinking family and we like an excuse to hang out and lower our inhibitions. Recently, we have added to the list Emmett's Birthday. This year it's awesome, next year not so much and this is why. January 8-Emmett's Birthday; January 16-Lily's Birthday; January 18-Larch, my mom and my dad share a birthday (that's actually kinda convienent); January 19- my Nana's birthday; January 22-Emmett's daddy's birthday. Yep that's right, 6 birthdays in 7 days.

This year January looked like this.  New Years eve with Larch and Johnny. The following weekend (this most recent one) we have a house full of people to celebrate the birth of baby Emmett. This coming Friday will be Lily's second birthday party. Saturday and Sunday we will help my MIL move into her new apartment. sometime between Monday and Thursday we will likely have dinner with my Nana and Gramps, sister, mom, and dad, to cover all the birthdays on my side of the family. This also is a good thing. I found out today Gramps' cancer is in remission and I will be able to see him and hug him and share my children with him for the first time since Halloween.  Saturday the 21st I am planning to throw a joint party for my hubby and his brother. After that I plan to sleep for a week.

I like to complain about how tiring this is, and with BPD it is very tiring. But really, I love it. Family is the most important thing in my life (or should be) and I love being around with, seeing them, and generally goofing off with them. Sometimes I wish every month could be like this and then I look at my house and realise i hate cleaning way to much to entertain every other weekend all year long.  No really. Ask anyone, I don't like to clean.

Brea