Drives Me Crazy
Compute. This is my figuring out how many 2x4s I need to build a picnic table.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Monday, June 9, 2014
Saturday in Redneckville
So I've done a couple of Saturday in Redneckville labeled posts in the past but I have decided to make it a weekly feature. At least for the duration of the summer. The idea being that I will write about an interesting, redneck event experienced or perpetrated by my family and/or close friends. I think this will be infinitely easier than trying to continue Ten Things Tuesday, which I now realize was forced and not as funny and clever as I liked. Also, as I recover from BPD, I am losing my need to constantly make lists for and about everything.
So, here's how I envision this working. Every Sunday or Monday (smart money says Monday) I will post a Saturday in Redneckville post. I like the sound of that title. I have a feeling most things I write about will occur on a Saturday, but I can't guarantee it.
DISCLAIMER: Larch has informed me that he and his brothers are roughnecks not rednecks and that I barely qualify as a country girl and therefore I am definitely not a redneck woman. I will concede the point about roughneck verses redneck, but by and large the majority of the American population doesn't not understand the difference. I believe his lack of confidence in my country girl status is more his nice way of saying I am a wuss. He may be right, but I put my clothes on a line to dry, I make bread from scratch, I like to fish, and I know how to make a deer roast palatable, I think I am country enough. If you add in that I like to "stand barefooted in my own from yard with a baby on my hip" and my undying love of country music (and possibly my tendency to giggle uncontrollably while riding on the back of a 4-wheeler while slightly intoxicated) I think I may also qualify as a mildly redneck woman.
So for this week....I had a hard time deciding between a story involving a bar, lost kids, some cops and a pregnant woman, or to share pictures from Johnny's Birthday BBQ. I chose the BBQ because Larch built the most awesome fort out of cardboard boxes and my 4 year old took a nap in a playpen. However, I promise to write about the other thing soon. I've already told the pregnant woman that she has no say, I am writing it, but I will change her name.
Johnny's Birthday BBQ
The first thing you need to know about my family is that it's big. Larch is the oldest of four. All four Thornton kids has spouses (or in one case a long term girlfriend) Larch and I have Johnny and Lily. There is a 15 year old and two toddlers. That's 13 people so far. Larch's parents are divorced so there are three grandparents on that side of the family plus on really close friend who is not technically my mother in law's boyfriend. Now we are at 17. My side of the family has my mom, my dad, my sister, and one set of my grandparents (the other set live in New Mexico so they never come to family events). 22. Family events generally include one of our sets of friends who have a little girl Johnny's age and a new baby. That's 25 + a baby. Then you add in my bestie, her husband and their three kids, there is the distinct possibility of 30+ people being in my backyard for a family event like a birthday. Since we all have dogs, you could also add in up to 7 dogs. This weekend we only had 23, sixteen adults and 7 kids, and 2 dogs. That's a lot of hamburgers y'all.
As I said above, Larch built the most awesome cardboard box castle for the kids to hide out in.
Other redneck-ish occurrences included Johnny's receiving new arrows for his bow, a hunting backpack, and fishing gear among his presents. (He also received normal 7 year old presents like Legos, books, a movie, and a ladder ball set, which now that I think about it is more of an adult game, but still less redneck than a hunting backpack).
So, here's how I envision this working. Every Sunday or Monday (smart money says Monday) I will post a Saturday in Redneckville post. I like the sound of that title. I have a feeling most things I write about will occur on a Saturday, but I can't guarantee it.
DISCLAIMER: Larch has informed me that he and his brothers are roughnecks not rednecks and that I barely qualify as a country girl and therefore I am definitely not a redneck woman. I will concede the point about roughneck verses redneck, but by and large the majority of the American population doesn't not understand the difference. I believe his lack of confidence in my country girl status is more his nice way of saying I am a wuss. He may be right, but I put my clothes on a line to dry, I make bread from scratch, I like to fish, and I know how to make a deer roast palatable, I think I am country enough. If you add in that I like to "stand barefooted in my own from yard with a baby on my hip" and my undying love of country music (and possibly my tendency to giggle uncontrollably while riding on the back of a 4-wheeler while slightly intoxicated) I think I may also qualify as a mildly redneck woman.
So for this week....I had a hard time deciding between a story involving a bar, lost kids, some cops and a pregnant woman, or to share pictures from Johnny's Birthday BBQ. I chose the BBQ because Larch built the most awesome fort out of cardboard boxes and my 4 year old took a nap in a playpen. However, I promise to write about the other thing soon. I've already told the pregnant woman that she has no say, I am writing it, but I will change her name.
Johnny's Birthday BBQ
The first thing you need to know about my family is that it's big. Larch is the oldest of four. All four Thornton kids has spouses (or in one case a long term girlfriend) Larch and I have Johnny and Lily. There is a 15 year old and two toddlers. That's 13 people so far. Larch's parents are divorced so there are three grandparents on that side of the family plus on really close friend who is not technically my mother in law's boyfriend. Now we are at 17. My side of the family has my mom, my dad, my sister, and one set of my grandparents (the other set live in New Mexico so they never come to family events). 22. Family events generally include one of our sets of friends who have a little girl Johnny's age and a new baby. That's 25 + a baby. Then you add in my bestie, her husband and their three kids, there is the distinct possibility of 30+ people being in my backyard for a family event like a birthday. Since we all have dogs, you could also add in up to 7 dogs. This weekend we only had 23, sixteen adults and 7 kids, and 2 dogs. That's a lot of hamburgers y'all.
As I said above, Larch built the most awesome cardboard box castle for the kids to hide out in.Other redneck-ish occurrences included Johnny's receiving new arrows for his bow, a hunting backpack, and fishing gear among his presents. (He also received normal 7 year old presents like Legos, books, a movie, and a ladder ball set, which now that I think about it is more of an adult game, but still less redneck than a hunting backpack).
Also. Bonfire.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Saturday, June 7, 2014
A Reply
If you haven't read "To My Friends Who Became Mothers Before Me" at Scarymommy.com, go here first and read it. This is my reply.
To my now knowledgeable, and therefore guilt-ridden, best friend who has finally taken the plunge into motherhood.
You are forgiven.
You are forgiven for uttering the words "I'm tired." You didn't know. I didn't know before kids either. Take heart, it gets better. It will be years yet, but eventually your children will be less demanding and you may get to sleep in or take a nap.
You are forgiven for your welling meaning baby food book. To be honest, I don't really remember you giving it to me, much less where I put it.
You are forgiven for thinking it would be fun for you and your boyfriend to be my house guests days before delivery. I was the fool who said ok. I was thinking pregnancy is miserable and I needed a distraction from all the waiting.
You are forgiven for calling me with all of your single girl drama. Yes, talking on the phone is torture with young kids, but maybe more for you than for me. I was the one who kept interrupting you to yell at the kids. To be honest, I was feeling nostalgic about "the good old days" and you reminded me that my life as a mother was hectic but much less drama filled. And I was dying to talk to someone who could use words longer than two syllables.
You are forgiven for talking to me while sleep deprived. You didn't know. And don't worry about rubbing my feet. That's my husband's job.
You are forgiven for not bringing me food, or folding my laundry, or doing my dishes. (You are a better cook now, then you were then). Thank YOU for not commenting on the disastrous state of my house. For finding a place to sit amongst the clean but unfolded laundry piles with nary a word. And for holding the baby while I made you that lunch. I am human. I didn't tell you then, but all I did was warm up the leftovers from dinner the night before. I'm glad you liked it.
Please do not apologize for asking me to come downtown for margaritas. On the occasions I did go, I really needed an excuse to shower. On the times I didn't, I really wanted to, but passed out while putting the kids to bed. Speaking of margaritas, do you want to go out and have one, or should I bring the ingredients and the blender to your place after bedtime?
You are forgiven for your baby envy. It happens to everyone. Even when you have kids. Sometimes especially when you have older kids.
You are forgiven for not knowing my children's nap and meal schedule. I may have grumbled then, but it taught them to sleep anywhere and be flexible. And if you stayed with me through their crankiness, you have paid your penance.
You are so welcome. Loving someone means putting someone else's needs before your own. I knew that before the stupid snowman said it to the girl who sang the song I can't get out of my head. I will always stand by you. You stuck it out with me.
Thank you. Mothers often feel under appreciated. You too, are doing an amazing job. You are an awesome mother. I am proud of you for taking on motherhood after having seen me struggle through it. You are truly brave. I will always be your friend.
Furry Face
Day 7 of the Motherhood{honestly} photo challenge is furry face. This is a great time to introduce you all to the new member of our family. He was born late last summer and came to live with us in mid fall. His name is Jasper and just like my kids I love him but sometimes I just want him to go away.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)