Actual (albeit slightly intoxicated) conversation between my husband and I.
Me: You have short thumbs.
Larch: Long enough to strangle you with.
Me: Not funny.
Larch: They are.
Me: Well, I could cut your nuts off while you sleep.
Larch: Really?
Me: Actually, it would be better to seduce you and then cut off all your junk so you could bleed to death.
Larch: Not before I could kick your ass.
Me: Yeah, but I would be alive. You would bleed to death.
Larch: You might be bleeding to death also.
Me: This is a weird conversation.
**********
I decided later only happily and securely married couples have these kinds of conversations. And then only the really weird couples.
Me: You have short thumbs.
Larch: Long enough to strangle you with.
Me: Not funny.
Larch: They are.
Me: Well, I could cut your nuts off while you sleep.
Larch: Really?
Me: Actually, it would be better to seduce you and then cut off all your junk so you could bleed to death.
Larch: Not before I could kick your ass.
Me: Yeah, but I would be alive. You would bleed to death.
Larch: You might be bleeding to death also.
Me: This is a weird conversation.
**********
I decided later only happily and securely married couples have these kinds of conversations. And then only the really weird couples.
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